Don't make me Blush

So what are we doing? Is this nesting gone mad? Oliver James, in his brilliant 2007 book ‘Affluenza’ spoke about this kind of consumerism as being behind the growing malaise of the middle classes – suggesting that we protect ourselves from the horrors of real life by buying stuff we don’t really need. In a generally comfortable life, advertisers create false needs that we feel compelled to fulfil – and when advertising is coming at us from every direction, in every website and magazine we read, on the streets we walk and in  everything we watch – its easy to see how much these false needs infiltrate our daily life.

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Worlds apart (but still neighbours)

What is right for Fred will never be right for Lola. In fact, they would feel so strongly against it they would feel the need to attack each other on social media. But Fred and Lola aren’t so different. They each want what’s best for their children. They both feel they are doing the right thing.

We’re all going to parent differently, based on our own experiences and of course our current circumstances. Our choices can feel worlds apart but in fact, they live side by side.

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The Stuff of Legend

What else? That age old fairytale that, as long as you find the right approach every baby can sleep through the night. Or that myth that, if you’re disciplining in the correct way, your child won’t have tantrums. Or those even more subtle ones – that when things go wrong it’s always the mother’s fault. That it is possible to juggle work and family without any emotional fall out. That you’ll get your sex drive back after 6 weeks. That the laundry basket can be emptied.

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The Storm Before the Calm

I think about this a lot in my parenting – how plateaus fall right before a big step forward. My go-to bible when my babies were tiny was the wonderful book ‘The Wonder Weeks’ – which is not at all a book about parenting (yay!) but a book about understanding baby development.

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Drowning in Information

On average, we touch our phones 2,617 times a day. In our browsing, it seems we are digesting 285 pieces of content every day – in words, that’s equivalent to a novel. And it’s not just us, our kids are spending on average 6 and a half hours a day in front of screens.

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The New Blue

So, while I firmly believe in a holistic approach to depression, ‘environmental’ reasons are often looked for when actually a biological or physiological reason may be staring you in the face. Of course, the biological reason may create environmental reasons so it’s a bit of a tangle. But every reason needs to be listened to and understood. Sometimes when women talk about their sadness or worry there is an expectation that this is just one of those womanly things that we have to deal with – our pain isn’t taken seriously.

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Your Children are not your Children

We can really rush this process if we want to. Force independence before our children are ready – and of course all children are different. Some are lone wolves from the moment they leave the womb, then there are those who are happiest in your arms well into late childhood.

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