The virtual and the valuable

Generally speaking, we want to be in the ‘in-group’, because it will make us feel stronger and like we have a definite place in the world. The in-group protects its status, and the self esteem of those on the outside is damaged because it attacks their sense of belonging. That’s where cliques come from. That’s what happened due to the tagging element of the campaign- although the intention was to use tagging to spread the word about the campaign, it also created an ‘in-group’ - or rather many different in-groups - resulting in others understandably feeling excluded.

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Worlds apart (but still neighbours)

What is right for Fred will never be right for Lola. In fact, they would feel so strongly against it they would feel the need to attack each other on social media. But Fred and Lola aren’t so different. They each want what’s best for their children. They both feel they are doing the right thing.

We’re all going to parent differently, based on our own experiences and of course our current circumstances. Our choices can feel worlds apart but in fact, they live side by side.

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The Stuff of Legend

What else? That age old fairytale that, as long as you find the right approach every baby can sleep through the night. Or that myth that, if you’re disciplining in the correct way, your child won’t have tantrums. Or those even more subtle ones – that when things go wrong it’s always the mother’s fault. That it is possible to juggle work and family without any emotional fall out. That you’ll get your sex drive back after 6 weeks. That the laundry basket can be emptied.

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The Storm Before the Calm

I think about this a lot in my parenting – how plateaus fall right before a big step forward. My go-to bible when my babies were tiny was the wonderful book ‘The Wonder Weeks’ – which is not at all a book about parenting (yay!) but a book about understanding baby development.

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