When Will I, Will I be Famous?

…this is where the comparison, which just taps away in the background, can start to become a bit dangerous. There are two sides to this- what we see and what we present. Even if you just lurk, seeing the heavily curated feeds of others’ lives can leave us feeling inadequate and anxious. How many times have you found yourself buying something just because you saw it on Instagram? Just like in magazines, social media can sell us the myth that we, too, can have this life if we were only to buy this product. And, if you don’t, and suddenly see that everyone else managed to get that Marks & Spencer dress then you can begin to feel inadequate and out of the loop.

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Drowning in Information

On average, we touch our phones 2,617 times a day. In our browsing, it seems we are digesting 285 pieces of content every day – in words, that’s equivalent to a novel. And it’s not just us, our kids are spending on average 6 and a half hours a day in front of screens.

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The New Blue

So, while I firmly believe in a holistic approach to depression, ‘environmental’ reasons are often looked for when actually a biological or physiological reason may be staring you in the face. Of course, the biological reason may create environmental reasons so it’s a bit of a tangle. But every reason needs to be listened to and understood. Sometimes when women talk about their sadness or worry there is an expectation that this is just one of those womanly things that we have to deal with – our pain isn’t taken seriously.

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(Pause)

Even if we don’t have a designated spot for a business card holder (or, in fact, a business card holder), we can start to treat the objects in our lives with care. Marie Kondo treats her plant with more respect than I see actual human beings treat other actual human beings on the Tube.

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Empty Vessels Make the Most Sound

Despite how well we think we can hide our stresses and strains from our children, they are fine-tuned in to the frequency of our moods. Perhaps we’re a bit shorter with our tempers too, less patient, less able to focus on the games which are of the utmost importance to our children’s daily existence. And somehow, they seem absolutely fine. It demonstrates the incredible resilience of children, how hard they work to manage themselves in spite of stress. Although it may not feel like it on the days when the world has collapsed because you cut the sandwich into squares instead of triangles, they are built to make the best of things.

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Nurturing the Nurturer

But what about that bad little girl or boy in you? They’re not able to stand up to that voice, so they might need a bit of help. If you really focus in on that little girl or boy feeling that sits within you, maybe tuning in to a memory, a time you remember feeling so misunderstood, bad, ashamed….Who could have helped you then? Who could have rescued you from that feeling? What did you need?

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