The Negative Loop

In my mind, the only way to break the negative loop is to kill it with kindness. To do whatever you need to do to get yourself back in problem solving (rather than a problem seeing) frame of mind. For me, that usually involves taking a moment to really look at my kids, which reminds me how small they are and that they’re not giving me a hard time, they’re having a hard time.

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Nurturing the Nurturer

But what about that bad little girl or boy in you? They’re not able to stand up to that voice, so they might need a bit of help. If you really focus in on that little girl or boy feeling that sits within you, maybe tuning in to a memory, a time you remember feeling so misunderstood, bad, ashamed….Who could have helped you then? Who could have rescued you from that feeling? What did you need?

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Turning the Tide

We mustn’t forget how black and white the world is for children, how good and bad, love and hate, heroes and villains can permeate their understanding of everything. So when a parent walks away from a misdemeanour, a ‘bad’ action, there is always the question for a child ‘am I bad now?’

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